Chapter 35

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Trapping himself into his made-shift dream, Sunny floated up in the air as he stared at his Wonderland; a floating surreal city hanging in the open atmosphere. The sun was setting, casting a warm golden light that bathed the city in a peaceful glow.

The buildings were a mix of modern and ancient architecture, with towering skyscrapers standing next to quaint cottages and shops. He could see no one but himself, an eerie feeling of loneliness washed over him despite how calm everything was. 

This is where he usually goes in his lucid dreaming whenever he feels bored or tensed at the reality that pushed him to do this. He was free, unencumbered by the physical constraints of his waking life, and he could do whatever he wanted.

Yet, the young man wasn't thinking in any particular direction, his mind was still preoccupied with the events that had transpired earlier that day. A time he would rather forget, but couldn't, regardless how much he wanted to be in the deepest parts of his soul.

The air was thick with an ethereal mist that enveloped the entire city, casting a soft, silvery glow on everything it touched. The sky was a deep shade of indigo, with tendrils of blue and orange stretching across it like a painter's palette.

Its streets were empty, save for the occasional fluttering gust of wind. The buildings loomed above, their windows like mirrors reflecting the colors of the dawn. The sounds of the city were muted, replaced by the serene howling winds of the morning.

Sunny closed his eyes, focusing on the sensation of the wind against his skin and the warmth sinking into his bones. Its gentle caress was a balm to his troubled mind, and he allowed himself to sink into the moment, letting the quietness wash over him with relief.

As he did, he began to ask himself if he was ready to wake up from his long slumber; his thoughts were still muddled with his emotions, his heart still aching from the recent argument with his own father.

Here, he has all the time to endlessly continue pondering his thoughts about whether to return to waking reality or not.

For time in Wonderland is frozen in, stand still giving him a chance to reflect on his mistakes, to contemplate, on his anger, to feel the pain he caused to his own father, and to find the strength to apologize for his own wrongdoings.

Many would believe immortality lies in the physical world, but for Sunny, it's here, in this dream world, where he can escape the harsh realities of life, and live in the beautiful absurdity of his imagination.

Within him, true immortality lies in mastering his consciousness and subconsciousness. In this lucid dream, Sunny has the ability to do anything he wants, which includes altering time, space, and even the laws of physics. But to him, it seems trivial, for his mind is still preoccupied with the problems of his waking life.

His heart yearns to fix the damaged relationship between him and his father. He knows he must apologize for his own wrongs, and make amends for what he had done.

Had he gone too far? Sunny thought grimly as he stared down at his palms with eyes open, feeling sick in the stomach of his own misdeeds, "had I?" He asked himself, his voice echoing in the stillness of his dream.

No one knows except himself, that is an issue he must resolve without anyone's help.

He brought this to himself, saying those horrendous words to his own father, and now he must bear the weight of his own guilt. But in this dream world, he can do anything except the pained heart he is forced to carry from his own actions.

How long has he been contemplating? Days? Weeks? Months? Probably years? The universal laws of the physical world do not comply to his own dream.

Therefore, he had lost track of time.

All he knows is that he is here, in this surreal city, with his thoughts running wild, and his heart aching with pain. At least he has all the time in the world to think about his stupid mistakes for a very long time.

Raising his right open hand to the side while facing towards him, Sunny wasn't sure what to do next, since he is stuck in a never-ending cycle of self-loathing that his actions had caused.

His eyes are fixated on the image of his own hand, the palm up, waiting for something to happen, yet nothing is happening. He is completely alone in this dream, with no one to turn to but himself. He wants to do something with this said hand, waving or clapping, but he can't even muster enough energy to do so.

He is trapped in his own mind, in his own thoughts, in his own dreams, and in his own guilt. Completely frozen in the statue, just like time itself. The constant contemplating is driving him to the brink of madness and despair, wondering if his father will ever forgive him for spitting those awful things at the old man.

Sunny has got to find a way to break free from this endless loop of self-reflection.  He needs to learn to accept his own mistakes and move forward with his life.

But how can he do that when his conflicted heart is still weighed down with the burden of his own guilt and shame?

The answer lies within himself, accepting what he did was wrong and, thus, isn't what a good person should strive to do the right thing. He knows this but is afraid of the consequences that may come from admitting his own faults to his father, but he knows he must do it for his own sake and for the sake of their relationship.

Moreover, he also needs to realize he's still human in the bone and flesh; he can make mistakes, and he can also learn from them whenever there is still time to correct his own wrongs.

In the end, Sunny will have to face his own fears and take the first step in making amends with his father. It won't be easy, but he knows he must try.

However, the negative emotions building inside of him are so overwhelming that it's hard to see any light at the end of the tunnel.

The weight of his guilt and shame is suffocating him, making it harder to breathe, harder to think, and harder to move. Making him a weak willed individual who doesn't know how to face the consequences of his actions.

But the hope that keeps him going, the hope that he can still redeem himself, the hope that he can still fix the broken relationship with his father.  

And with that glimmer of hope, he slowly starts to regain his composure, his determination to make things right starting to build back up.

Feeling needing to find a way to break free from the grip of his guilt and shame, he began to focus on his breathing, calming his mind, and clearing his thoughts. Despite these efforts, his worrying side still persists, the fear of rejection as well as another thought that came to his mind.

If the old man had forgiven him, would Nelson still allow him to find his true path in life? Fifty percent chance of yes, seventy-five percent chance of no, the odds were stacked against him.

The troubled thought was still pushing him to the edge even though he had already had the strength to make an apology to his father, "Will he accept the way I live?" Lowering his raised hand to the side, Sunny pondered more in depth about what might happen once he woke up from his dream and confront the man.

 Then, out of nowhere, Celestial manifested in front of him with a small distortion of reality. She appeared like the same form who had visited him in the forest back then, her long hair billowing in the wind, her eyes sparkling with curiosity from the stars themselves.  

Her voice was like the sound of a thousand bells ringing, each one a different tone, blending together in perfect harmony.  "Sunny," she called, her voice lilting with a gentle sadness from the situation he had gotten himself into.

"What's the matter?"

She watched him in pity, floating a couple of parts away from each other as they stared into each other's eyes. "You locked yourself in this dream of yours," Celestial said, her voice dripping with sympathy, "and you're too afraid to leave."

Understanding the fear that had gripped his heart, she continued, "being stuck here isn't the answer, my love," the girl said, her eyes filled with kindness, "it's time for you to face your father, and tell him how sorry you are," advising him to let go of his guilt and to make amends.

Sunny was hesitant at her, still possessing some concerned thoughts in regard to his father, "its complicated..." He trailed off, averting his eyes away from hers, his hands trembling with anxiety, "I'm afraid of whether he will accept the way I want to live," the young man answered truthfully, his voice barely above a whisper, "will he allow me to find my true path in life?"

His father would accept him no matter what choice it is, however, if it is anything dangerous or stupid like leaving the Ark completely to see the surface world is highly unlikely to be accepted by someone living in the same place he is.

Celestial's expression softened, and she reached out to him, gesturing the young person to come over, "come here, I'll show you something," she said, her voice full of reassurance, "something that will help you understand why your father will always accept you, no matter what with."

Drawing him closer to her, she then embraced him within immediate empathy. As he was wrapped in her arms, Sunny closed her eyes, feeling the warmth of her embrace, the softness of her skin, and the comforting beat of her heart.

After a long time of having spent all his moments locked in this dream, he felt a sense of what peace is and the acceptance that he needed was that guilt and shame started to fade away, replaced with a sense of hope and redemption.

Hugging her back, he looked into her eyes, seeing the wisdom and understanding that was reflected in their depths, "what should I do now?" Sunny questioned, hoping he could get someone's guidance on what to do next before they departed from each other's embrace.

Tilting her head, she giggled softly at his question, "don't ask me, ask yourself what you should do next. Apologizing to your father is the first step, but what is the second that continues to burn your passion in searching for the life you want?" she asked, her voice playful, but with a hint of seriousness, "you must decide that for yourself, my love. It's an inner journey, one that only you can take."

Pulling away from him, she moved backwards, staring at him with a knowing smile, "but remember, the choices you make will define the person you become, so choose wisely," she advised, her voice like a lullaby, soothing his worried heart.

With those parting words, she vanished out of thin air; leaving him alone again with, a sense of hope in his heart, and a new-found determination to make things right with his father.

Taking a deep breath, he steeled himself for the road ahead, ready to face whatever lay beyond the horizon, with the knowledge that he had to make the first move to mend the broken relationship.

"I understand now," nodding his head with a smile. Sunny felt rejoiced in having someone remind him to look inward for answers, rather than seeking external validation.

"Hope is a powerful thing, isn't it?" He whispered to himself, his voice echoing in the stillness of the dream, "it can lift us up, and carry us through the darkest of times."

Then he woke up, his consciousness returning to his bedroom with a new perspective on fixing his mistakes. 

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