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Jacqueline Taylor

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Ototo-shi looked up at his sisters and tried to smile at them. He was having a hard time focusing his eyes, but he knew it wouldn’t matter much longer. He closed them.

“Ikasu,” he whispered.

He could see Ikasu kneeling in front of a window and knew that he was weeping.

Somehow, his friend knew that he was dying. Ototo-shi turned from Ikasu; he could do nothing to comfort him. He stepped out the low window and slowly walked across the rocky soil. The river was quiet. Its soft gurgles seemed almost like laughter. He wondered for a moment if the river was mocking him. He followed it, not really looking about as he moved. He knew where he was going and vision wasn’t important in getting there. He closed his eyes and listened to the river murmur.

“Ototo-shi,” a man called to him.

He looked and saw a man walking across the river to meet him.

Ototo-shi stopped and waved.

“Come with me Ototo-shi, its time,” the man said.

“Who are you?” Ototo-shi asked.

“I am Abraham and I have come to guide you to the Kingdom of Rest,” the man said.
Ototo-shi nodded and then followed Abraham. He stepped out onto the water and walked across its gently lapping surface.

“There is much you must see,” Abraham said.

They walked to the edge of the river and Abraham pointed. Mist swirled and shifted, but through it, he could see a stark landscape. Sand blew and danced. It settled in the eyes, mouths and hair of the people that slowly dragged themselves towards the water on their bellies. Those who were closer, raised their arms up to them and Ototo-shi could see where the sand had torn away their flesh. A man very near the water’s edge, but who was still inches from laying his hand into it, looked up to them.

“Father Abraham, have mercy on me and send Ototo-shi that he may dip the tip of his finger in this water and cool my tongue!” the man cried to them.

“Who are you who ask for my mercy?” Abraham asked.

“I am Kurushimi!”

“Your lot in death is for the suffering you caused in life. It is this very one,” Abraham gestured to Ototo-shi “who you turned from you door when he and his sisters were hungry.”

“Please, let me give him a drink,” Ototo-shi said.

“You cannot, for between us and him there is a great gulf fixed. That which would pass from hence to him cannot.”

Abraham turned and continued along the course of the water.

Ototo-shi watched as the man at the water’s edge struggled to his feet. Kurushimi stood there and stared at Ototo-shi. His neck was torn open so that long ribbons of flesh hung down like a bloody beard. His trachea lay exposed, its white ridges pressing painfully outward. Kurushimi stretched out his arms and opened his hands, displaying his torments for Ototo-shi to witness. Ototo-shi turned his eyes away.

“Look!” Kurushimi cried. “Long I have suffered here and forever yet I must. See me and go to my brothers. Testify to them! If you came to them from the dead, they would repent and God would spare them such torments as these,” Kurushimi said.

Ototo-shi looked at him.

Kurushimi’s eyes bled tears. The red tracks stained his paled and hollowed cheeks. The palms of his hands were laid bare, so that the fine bones drew hard white lines across the red flesh. His sternum was cracked down the center and pressed out of his chest like two great slabs of stone. His beating heart sprayed blood down onto the sand.

“Ototo-shi, come,” Abraham called. “There is nothing that can be done for the suffering of this man.”

“Testify to my brothers!” Kurushimi yelled as he fell back into the sand, no closer to the water.

“You can testify to his brothers, but they have already failed to hear the prophets. If they will not hear the prophets, neither will they be persuaded, though you came from the dead.”

Abraham took Ototo-shi by the shoulder and turned him away from the people in the sand. The mist swirled and obscured them from view.

“What was that place?” Ototo-shi asked.

“That is the desert of suffering. It is for those who made suffering for others when they lived,” Abraham said.

“All of them? There were so many.”

“All of them.”

“How long must they suffer there?” Ototo-shi asked.

“Until the cycle of the River is renewed,” Abraham answered.

“The River?” Ototo-shi asked.

“These waters, upon which you walk, are the Life Stream. From it, all creation flows. Like all waters, it ebbs and flows and then dries up. This is the cycle of the universe,” Abraham explained.

“I thought that God was forgiving? Ikasu said that anyone who repents can be forgiven and enter the Kingdom of Rest. Surely, those people have repented now.”

“Repentance must come from feelings of remorse for the crime you’ve committed not from the desire to end your suffering. There are none there who mourn their sins, only the suffering they endure.”

Abraham pointed ahead of them. Ototo-shi looked. Standing in the middle of the river was a strange looking man. He was tall. His large blue eyes had no pupils and seemed to float like leaves on water. His hair was long and was also blue. It hung about him in long clinging locks. It was raining around him, but there were no clouds in the sky.

“Who is he?” Ototo-shi asked.

“He is the Guardian of the Center,” Abraham said.

He led Ototo-shi past and the huge man made no movement. He simply watched them pass with his large eyes.

The river’s source could now be seen. It flowed from a hole in a gigantic tree. The water tumbled down the side of the black trunk and splashed to the ground in a shallow pool before it poured out into the river. The tree rose up higher than Ototo-shi could see. Its massive branches were covered with dark leaves and long thorns. The water pulsed, crashing against the ground in the rhythm of a heart.

Ototo-shi felt as if the Tree were calling to him. He went to it and gently laid his hands on the massive trunk. The bark was impossibly soft and inviting. He looked into the hole in the Tree. He could see nothing. Despite that, he felt that everything that was important and had ever mattered was at the heart of this Tree…

Abraham pulled Ototo-shi back by the shoulder.

“That is not the way,” he said.

“Where does that lead?” Ototo-shi asked.

“To Oblivion,” Abraham said. “It is there that souls cease to be themselves.”

“They’re destroyed?” Ototo-shi asked.

“No, they simply cease being Singular,” Abraham said.

“I don’t understand,” Ototo-shi said.

“This is the Center,” Abraham said. Then he pointed and Ototo-shi saw a large gate beyond the tree. “That is the Gateway into the Kingdom of Rest.”

Ototo-shi began walking towards the Gate. It was woven of heavy bands of silver and gold. The metal worked together to look like spirals of ivy and roses.

“Ototo-shi!”

He looked, but Abraham was gone. He turned back towards the gate.

“Ototo-shi!”

Who was it that called to him? He could still see no one.

“Ototo-shi, awaken and arise!”

It was Ikasu and he was calling him back. Ototo-shi looked at the gate and paused. He could go to them and leave behind all his suffering. But, his friend had called to him. Ikasu had spoken to him in the Realm of the Dead. How could he ignore that? He looked at the Tree and again heard it calling to him. He wanted to look into it again and better understand what he had seen there, but he knew he was running out of time. He had to choose…

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